THREE years ago my brother died (officially missing, presumed dead - no death certificate)," wrote an anonymous contributor last week at gripe2ed.com, a consumer complaint Web log. "At that time I was able to cancel his credit card, gas, insurance - everything except his AOL account."
It seems that America Online, not entirely irrationally, needed a screen name and other account information to properly cancel the subscription - something this consumer, under the circumstances, did not have handy. Collection notices for payments past due soon followed. The consumer was not amused.
"Maybe other people have resorted to faking death in order to get out of their AOL accounts?"
Probably not, but last Wednesday the office of the New York attorney general, Eliot Spitzer, announced that it had reached a settlement with America Online, which is owned by Time Warner. The agreement requires AOL to "remove obstacles consumers face when seeking to switch or cancel service," suggests that breaking up with AOL, which admits to no wrongdoing in the matter, is hard to do.
As part of the settlement, the company must pay refunds to disgruntled New York subscribers, $1.25 million in fines and costs to the state and stop providing incentives to customer service representatives who generate "saves" by talking subscribers, sometimes relentlessly, out of canceling their accounts.
Nicholas J. Graham, a spokesman for America Online, said in an e-mailed statement that the company was "pleased to have reached agreement" with Mr. Spitzer, and that new customer care practices would "assist with the verification of certain member intentions online."
Whether the agreement will stick remains to be seen. After all, smooth-talking "retention specialists" are a staple of corporate customer service everywhere (Monster.com, the classified jobs board, lists thousands of openings). America Online's settlement with Mr. Spitzer comes after a scuffle with the Federal Trade Commission in 2003 over similar charges, and an agreement with the Ohio attorney general in June to give refunds to customers there for improperly billing after cancellations.
Whatever the long-term outcome, the challenges apparently being faced by some users seeking to quit America Online have fed a healthy subgenre of cybergriping and online solution-sharing for years. And while faking one's death or feigning lethal madness (see below) might go well beyond the necessary, the following excerpts do suggest a communication gap in which both company and consumer share some of the blame.
May 18, 2004
Posted at tinmanic.com
I was beginning to worry that AOL cancellation was really a myth and that they actually didn't have a cancellation process and that I'd get stuck in AOL purgatory or they'd threaten to kill my firstborn if I didn't keep my service or something.
But no. I managed to hold my ground and make it to the end of the obstacle course. ...
If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything - even cancel your AOL service. Hallelujah.
Feb. 2, 2005
Posted at utterlyboring.com
I told them my house had burned down and I no longer had a computer. The customer service rep then suggested I keep the AOL service and use it at a library or a friend's house.
Feb. 15, 2003
Posted at cementhorizon.com
After 10 minutes on hold:
"Hello. Thank you for calling AOL customer service. My name is James. How can I help to make your online experience a magical one this morning?"
"Well, James, I would like to cancel my magical online account."
"Heh. O.K. Let me just pull up your information. ... Can I have your reason for canceling service with AOL this morning?"
"I'm giving up the Internet. ... I'm moving to a commune in Minnesota, and they don't have access there. ..."
"Wow! That's a first for me. That's a ... really? A commune? Wow! ... Why don't they have access?"
"Well, it just kind of runs counter to the whole belief system."
"And, so, what's the belief system?"
"Oh, you know, getting back to nature, Thoreau, eating lots of dairy. Except the vegans, obviously."
"Right. Right. Right. ... Look, are you sure about this commune?"
"Oh, yes. ..."
"O.K. O.K. There's no checkbox for this in my 'Reason for Cancellation' section. ... Just, O.K. Well, I have your cancellation number ready. And look, if you change your mind, you can always reactivate your account, O.K.?"
"Sure, thanks. ..."
"You know, I'm not going to even bother asking if you want to try our new phone news service."
"That's probably best."
April 20, 2003
Posted at blog.megacity.org
I don't know what the big deal was. I'll admit I had to sit on the phone for 1/2 an hour until a customer rep came on the line, but I just told [her] that I was getting rid of my computer because I couldn't keep my kids from looking at porn. I was off the phone in 2 minutes.
May 13, 2005
Posted at j-walkblog.com
My sisty signed up for AOL and had me help her get rid of it. Canceling the service wasn't that hard, we had the bank stop the payments. The hard part was getting their damn software off. It's like some kind of tenacious fungus that just won't die.
Aug. 24, 2005
Posted at techdirt.com
Just violate their terms of service by going into a chat room and threatening to kill people. After spending an hour on the phone and being unable to cancel an AOL account, I was able to terminate an account in about 3 minutes this way.
July 19, 2005
Posted at utterlyboring.com
If you want to cancel your AOL then simply call and cancel it. It really is not very hard. I called in and spoke to a very nice customer representative and told them that I had switched to a high-speed service after they asked me why I would like to cancel. They then asked me a few questions that I responded to politely. ...People just don't realize how far common courtesy will go these days.
June 10, 2005
Posted at banjk.journalspace.com
I plan on just telling them ...
I want to cancel my account.
I want to cancel my account.
I want to cancel my account.
And I'll throw in one more, just to be safe.
I want to cancel my account.
Aug. 19, 2005
Posted at gripe2ed.com
My wife had AOL. I got things running under cable modem, and we canceled the service. We also had the credit card compromised (our oldest set of twins had memorized the number and the expiration date) which also partly had to do with AOL. We would set up limits on their accounts. They would log in as my wife, and reset the password with her card number, and then reset their accounts back to full 24/7 access.
Aug. 23, 2005
Reply posted at gripe2ed.com
I'm sure you know that AOL is not your biggest problem. I hope you are dealing with the situation with your children.